Raising kids is challenging. They are all wired different. Today the distractions have never been greater. Life moves faster than ever. I do not claim to have mastered the art of parenting. That said, through trial and lots of error, I do believe I have learned some lessons that have resulted in some positive outcomes.
First, have your kids try lots of different activities at a young age so they can find something they are passionate about. Once they find an interest – feed it. Fertilize it and allow the interest to grow. For my kids, it has been athletics. In this respect, I have been very blessed because I learned so much in life from athletics.
Fairly, I grew up in a small “Friday Night Lights” like town in Ohio – so athletics was the thing I knew most about. Also, having been a college coach, exposing my kids to athletics came naturally. So when my kids were growing, while they tried lots of activities – I biasedly steered them a little more towards athletics. Lucky for me, they stuck.
Athletics has given us something to enjoy together. Athletics have taught them discipline and a work ethic. Athletics have given them successes and taught them how to work through and learn from adversity. They have also taught them the importance of and how to play on a team. I would say, athletics have given them some character and some grit. Not bad qualities to possess.
I feel like my kids know right from wrong. They know how to treat other people the way they want to be treated. They know how to work for a goal. Some of this you could say is old school. Guilty as charged. Traditional values. Admittedly, I was raised in the Midwest. I grew up and lived the motto – hard work pays off. There are no shortcuts to success. I have worked to instill these values in my kids.
I have raised my kids to be students first and athletes second. For my daughter, this was an easier sell. For my son, it took a little longer but he got there. Ultimately, for kids to have options post high school, given the competitive atmosphere of college admission, they have to be able to balance both.
Disclaimer – I also work in higher education and oversee a college admission office. The student before athlete is very real. That said, given admission competition these days, kids need to have a skill that adds value to a college that distinguishes them – what makes them different from applicant B. To me, this is where athletics comes in. I am not talking about athletic scholarships (but that would be helpful). I am talking about admission. Opportunities to be admitted to a competitive academic institution while competing in the sport the kid loves and has had successes. Committing to academic work and at the same time the sport they love and thus add value to a college.
To me, as a parent, encouraging (and sometimes pushing) the academic priority while facilitating athletic commitment puts kids in a position to have successes later in life. In the end, is that not our roles? Love them with all of our hearts and try to provide tools by which they can be successful when it is time for them to be independent and grow into adults.
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